What a difference a year can make.
2018 was a year of heartbreak, of healing, and of celebration. It’s been the year where I feel like I truly found my voice.
I started the year heartbroken over having trouble expanding our family. I had found out that I wasn’t ovulating, obviously making it quite difficult to conceive. And after waiting so long to heal from my other various health issues, this hurdle really rattled me. I was also still at the tail end of the healing process for all the lovely mental and physical challenges that 2017 had brought me, and I was incredibly frustrated trying to handle the combination of those two things. To top it off, despite all of the work I was putting in to growing my business, I felt stuck without a dedicated studio space to pursue my creative dreams.
Frustrated that other areas of our lives weren’t going the way we wanted, we decided in March that the time was right to put down real roots and buy our first house. We found the perfect space for us, which includes a home studio for me! I have loved filling it with pieces that inspire me and allow me to explore my creativity. It’s been a game-changer to have a space in our home where I can bring clients for sessions.
Finding that house started us on a positive path. Three days after closing on our house, we found out that I was pregnant. The first half of the pregnancy was absolutely insane and challenging and emotional. I ended up in the ER for an ectopic pregnancy scare, we moved, I traveled to Chicago and New York, and I spent 20 weeks feeling incredibly nauseous. The second half of the pregnancy was much smoother but still nerve-racking. Would Henry adjust well? Would I get the same baby blues and anxiety I had after Henry was born? Would Will and I do ok balancing this new life? And of course, anxiety doesn’t seem to care about logic in situations like this.
And before we knew it, December 12th was here.
After all of the hurdles and challenges that the last two years brought me, I was able to have the smoothest induction, labor, and delivery that I could have ever asked for. Labor is never going to be totally pain-free, but everyone was so understanding of my feelings and helped me My doctor and the team or nurses that cared for me were nothing less than outstanding, and it made me feel like it really was a team effort. I cannot thank all of them enough for the support they gave me during that extremely emotional day.
Giving birth to Charlie was the most emotion-filled moment of my life. So many things had to happen to bring her into our world. Her birth was the end to one challenging and heartbreaking chapter, and the start of an incredibly joyful (albeit exhausting) new one.
It’s honestly hard to believe how things have changed in the last year. 2018 changed every part of me. There were some big upsets, but even bigger triumphs. And I truly cannot wait to start tomorrow and crush 2019. Bring. It. On.